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Welcome to our story. Here’s a little more about us.Β 

KAREN: your main human protagonist

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Prologue:

Two maybe three years ago (I try and suppress details of my life’s most mortifying memories to ruminate on only at the most inopportune moments) we had some good family friends of ours come over for dinner. Somehow the conversation topic turns to dogs and why has a dog-less dog-lover such as myself lived such a dog-less life for so long. My mother, bless her soul, one of the most resolute people ever, ventures off onto how throughout my whole life I have loved dogs. When I was old enough to know how to use a phone to call mommy dearest’s office, I left a REALLY long voicemail that was essentially a small, Shaman-Karen, asking for a dog. In my hypnotic voice I chanted my “I want a dog/buy me a dog” mantra until the voicemail cut me off. Having this played in front of me and with an audience was the highest form of parental embarrassment ever to have been enacted in my presence.

Being confronted with my dog-less existence made me sad. Really. Sad. So many years of disappointment on Christmas day because there was never a puppy. (I was less hopeful on my birthdays because mom was diamond-solid about the no dog thing, so I was really counting on Santa). I am really, truly not a crier, especially in front of other people. The tears could not be stopped. Furthermore, when our kind guests mentioned the idea of Taylor Swift giving me a puppy, I completely lost it. I was overwhelmed by how that would never happen and it made me even sadder.

Moral of the story: I really wanted a dog.

Some time after the prologue:

I decided to get my own damn dog. (More details here.)

Chapter 1:

Working on this part.

Epilogue:

If by some miracle someone knows someone (who knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone) who knows Taylor Swift can you please let her know I will need another dog in approximately 10-14 years time? It is not too late to make dreams come true. Just putting this out there. (However, I will happily accept a puppy from Taylor Swift at her convenience).

BLOO: your main doggus protagonist

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I don’t believe in naming dogs with human names. I shall illustrate my reasoning with an exampleΒ that is in no way based on real-life. Β Say your dog is named, Sophie, and your sister is named, Chloe, and they are introduced at the same time. This could be very confusing because it might take someone many years to not have to think really hard to remember who is who.

Bloo is a good dog name because it is adequately derpy and stoopid unlike some other human sounding name like Blue.

Many wonderful things start with bloo, such as blood, bloomers, bloopers, and bloomberg. However, the true inspiration for bloo is the character Blooregard Q. Kazoo from Foster’s Home from Imaginary Friends because bloo is the imaginary dog I have always wanted.

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